A Conflicted Woman Read online

  Gabe’s eyes found Maddie across the yard. From the looks of it, she was getting an earful from Sarah. When Sarah stormed off in her mother’s direction, Maddie gave a sarcastic salute with her middle finger. The three of us laughed.

  The employees walked back and forth over the now-flattened castle.

  “It’s hard to believe they’re one already. Where did the year go?” I asked no one in particular.

  Allen moseyed closer to me and whispered so Gabe wouldn’t overhear, “Who was the girl?”

  Not Allen, too. My half brother, who until this moment I’d thought was one of the good guys. Sweet. Innocent. Respected all women. Not the type to lust after a busty woman in skimpy clothes.

  “Jorie,” I said.

  Gabe perked up. “You noticed her, Allen, with all the talking you and Bailey engaged in?”

  That was a weird way to put it. I said to Allen, “You know, Bailey’s grandmother put me in charge of making sure Bailey behaves and takes college seriously.”

  Allen, his cheeks pinking, nodded. “We talked about college. A lot.”

  A dubious claim, considering Bailey hadn’t mentioned anything college-related since moving to town one week ago. The dorms weren’t open yet, but Bailey was staying with a family friend in the interim. I’d tried on more than one occasion to get her to talk about her classes.

  “Sure you did.” Gabe prodded my arm with his.

  Chapter Three

  We tucked the twinks in, each of us kissing their fuzzy heads.

  In the doorway, Sarah pressed her cheek against the doorjamb. “I can’t believe it’s been a year.”

  I encircled her waist with my arm. “I know. It feels like it just happened yesterday.”

  “Except I’m not sore.” She stifled a laugh so as not to wake them. “I’d do it again, though.”

  I led her by the hand to the bedroom, both of us moving sluggishly after the long day in stifling heat.

  Sarah collapsed onto the bed, rustling the gift I’d placed there an hour ago.

  Reaching over her head, she seized the box, examining the purple wrapping paper. “Is it for the twinks?”

  I shook my head. “It’s for the best wife in the world.”

  She placed a hand to her mouth. Speaking through her fingers she said, “I didn’t get you anything. Was I supposed to?”

  “Not at all. I wanted to spoil you. For everything you do to keep the household running smoothly.”

  “Is it the Ninja blender I’ve been wanting to make juices?” Still on her back, she rattled the box.

  I sat on the edge of the bed. “Nope, but considering the box isn’t the right size, meaning you really want the blender”—I tapped the side of my head—“I’m making a mental note to buy one tomorrow.” I waved for her to open the gift.

  Sitting up, she sat cross-legged and tore off the paper. She held up one of the items, a red pepper satin kimono. “It’s beautiful.”

  “There’s a matching slip.”

  Sarah held it up. “Is this a gift for you?”

  “Maybe it’s for both of us. I know how much you love sexy things, and I admit I like it when you wear them.” I twitched my brow in an exaggerated fashion.

  She glanced down at her T-shirt with frosting and juice smears. “Not sure that’s true anymore.”

  I laid my hand on her thigh. “Remember way back when, you said you didn’t want people to put you solely in the mom box? I think you need to remember not to put yourself there either. You are, without a doubt, sexy.”

  She offered a crooked smile. “Really?”

  I kissed her deeply. “Don’t ever doubt it.”

  Sarah rested her forehead against mine. “It’s been hard lately. To think about anything else besides the twinks.”

  “I know. What can I do to help out more? Not everything is on your shoulders.”

  “You have so much with co-parenting, teaching, and publishing.”

  I placed a finger against her lips. “Don’t talk nonsense. If you need me to step up, I will. You’ve always been there for me.”

  Sarah pulled her head back, flicking away a tear. “Half the time, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m crankier. Conflicted about my feelings of being a stay-at-home mom. I’m always tired…” She waved her hand to imply the list went on. Sarah shook the box. “This helps, though.”

  “There’s more.” I gestured for her to keep digging into the present under the tissue paper.

  “Bath bombs!” She clapped her hands.

  I laughed, looking over to the baby monitors to ensure the twinks were still asleep. “Never heard someone get so excited about bombs before. There’s one last gift.”

  Sarah rifled through the tissue paper, finally pulling out a card. Upon opening it, she whooped. “A day at the spa for two.” Her face became serious. “Wait a minute? Are you going with me?”

  “Nope. Maddie volunteered to escort you to ensure you get all the necessary treatments or whatever you call them.” I showed my palms to indicate I was clueless. “Shall I draw you a bath?”

  “Please.” She latched onto my hand. “All of this means so much to me.”

  I leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Anything for you.”

  After turning on the water, I ran downstairs for two more elements of the cheer up Sarah plan: wine and chocolate. I was fairly certain the article I’d read didn’t mean to utilize everything in one go, but it didn’t hurt to kick things into a higher gear. Christmas was just around the corner, and I didn’t want another elaborate function so soon after today’s.

  By the time I was able to uncork the wine and locate Sarah’s stash of chocolates, she was already immersed in the water with an eye mask on.

  “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to crash in here and wreck your Calgon moment.”

  Sarah hiked up one corner of the mask, taking in the offerings in my hands. “Okay, what’s going on? Gifts, wine, and chocolates. Are you feeling guilty about anything or anyone?”

  I inched into the bathroom. “Of course not. I just wanted to spoil you.”

  “And…?”

  I perched on the side of the tub. “It would be helpful if you gave me some guidance as to why I should feel guilty. As far as I know, I’ve been a perfect angel.” I rattled the chocolates. “Case in point.”

  “I can think of one reason, and it starts with an M or J depending on who you’re talking to.” Sarah eased the wineglass out of my clutched fingers. “No reason to let this go to waste.”

  “An M or J?” I glanced out the window overlooking the backyard, unable to see anything in the darkness. “Um, math or jammies?”

  “That’s what you’re going with?” Sarah narrowed her eyes.

  I jacked up one shoulder. “They were the first words that came to mind.”

  “Marjor—”

  “Oh, geez. That should have been obvious. I didn’t mean to invite Jorie. You know I can be awkward in certain situations.”

  “I’m aware.” Sarah flipped the Kilwin’s box open and selected one. After taking a bite and letting out a moan, she said, “Dark vanilla butter cream. So good.”

  “Really, Sarah. I never would have invited her if I hadn’t popped in to buy party blowers.”

  “This is my fault?” It was difficult to determine if she was joking, given the hardness in her tone and sparkle in her eyes.

  “Of course not. I’m only saying, when Marj—Jorie started talking to me, I didn’t know what to say. I hardly ever run into my students in the real world. I…” I waved a hand pathetically in the air. “I didn’t even know she went by Jorie. If I knew her better, don’t you think I would have known that?”

  “It would be a good cover, though.” Her face was softening.

  I massaged my already tired eyes. “I can’t win.”

  She laughed. “Don’t worry. I don’t actually think you’re having an affair with Jorie. She’s way too hot. You’d never stop babbling long enough to get to second base.” Her coquettish smil
e was meant to ease the blow.

  My jaw dropped. “I—what am I supposed to say to that?”

  “I don’t recommend arguing against it.” Sarah set the wineglass down on the other side of the tub. “I think it’s best to table the Jorie discussion. Get in here. I’m not the only mother who ran herself ragged today.”

  I stripped down and eased into the jetted tub, facing Sarah. “Shall I flip it on? Or will it cause the bath bomb to actually explode?”

  “Explode, no. Mess up the jets, probably.” She took a swig of wine. “How can I get my groove back?”

  Proceed with caution! I asked in a toneless voice, “In what regard?”

  “I was referring to Sexy Sarah.”

  I eased further into the water, wanting to work out the knots in my shoulders, although the way I had to hunker down to avoid the tap wasn’t helpful. “What did you used to do to feel that way?”

  Her forehead puckered. “I don’t think I had to do anything. I just was.”

  I nodded. “You still are.”

  “I don’t feel it.” She popped another chocolate into her mouth.

  “Okay, what do you think would perk up your sex… spirits? More lingerie? Porn? Erotica?”

  She mulled over the options. “I’ve been meaning to read the sequel to Fifty Shades of Grey. Maddie mentioned some lesbian films she recently watched.”

  I wished I had a notepad or my phone to jot down everything. “What about a weekend away?”

  “Who’d watch the twinks?”

  “We could ask your mom,” I said, again carefully dipping my toes into a potential Sarah land mine.

  “Troy would probably be there.”

  Troy was Rose’s new boyfriend, who Sarah wasn’t all that keen about. As far as I knew, Sarah hadn’t told her mom she disliked Troy, but his absence at the birthday party spoke volumes. Sarah’s shoulders tensed, and darkness clouded her eyes. I needed to pull her thoughts away from Troy and back to Sexy Sarah. Fast!

  “Not that you asked, but I vote for more sexy lingerie.” I ran my hands up and down her smooth legs.

  She rolled her head back, her hands gripping the edges of the tub. “That feels good.”

  “There’s more of this if you want it. I’ve been working on my massage skills.” I cracked my knuckles.

  “Do I have Jorie to thank for that?”

  I slapped her knee, splashing water. “Don’t. Not when I want to take you to bed to show you how sexy you are.”

  Chapter Four

  While Sarah made the twins oatmeal for breakfast, I set them up in their high chairs. Hank, our black cat, was curled up in the sunny spot on the charcoal mat next to the door leading to the deck.

  Ollie fussed more than usual, which was a feat. There were times I thought she had four arms and four legs, calling her Octo-kid.

  Fred, on the other hand, stared at me with his large blue eyes.

  “You ready for your morning victuals, Freddie?” I asked.

  He smiled his sweet little boy smile.

  “He has no idea what you’re talking about.” Sarah set the communal bowl down on the breakfast nook table.

  “Neither does the majority of the people on this planet.” I turned to Freddie. “But when I’m through with you, you’ll know more words than Merriam-Webster.”

  Sarah groaned her displeasure, seeming too tired to mount a verbal attack.

  She put out her fist. “Rock, Paper, Scissors to see who feeds the twinks.”

  Ollie made a fist.

  “You want to play Roshambo, Ollie?” I asked, bumping my hand against her fist and then exposing scissors. “Rock smashes scissors. You win.”

  She giggled.

  I prepped for my round with Sarah by rolling my neck side to side.

  Sarah sighed. “Ready, set, go.” She threw paper and smothered my rock. “I’m going to shower.”

  I picked up the spoon, loaded it with an Ollie-sized bite of oatmeal, and made airplane sounds, accompanied by Fred’s version, resulting with spittle oozing down his chin.

  Ollie’s mouth greedily clamped down on the spoon.

  I repeated the process with Fred, who wasn’t as exuberant as his sister.

  Breakfast with the twins was not the easiest of times. None of us was fully functioning at seven in the morning. Ollie enjoyed her food, but she loved to fight the feeding process as if spooning her the food she craved was an insult to her independence. Fred, on the other hand, was easygoing, but his lack of appetite bordered on concerning. Our pediatrician, though, claimed he was a healthy weight and that we should heed his signs when he was done. But, what about his not starting in the first place?

  By the time Sarah returned to the kitchen, freshly showered, she kissed each of their heads. “How’s it going?”

  “Just about done, aren’t we, Twinkies?” I attempted to give Fred another bite, but he shoved the spoon away, smiling.

  Sarah wiped his mouth, face, and fingers clean, lifted him out of the chair, and set him on the floor. He toddled away on wobbly legs toward the play area in the front room, which was within view.

  Ollie accepted one more bite before making it known she didn’t appreciate being held captive while Freddie roamed freely.

  “Why don’t you go shower? I can manage now that I’m fully awake.” Sarah flicked her fingers for me to make a break for it while I could.

  “Okay, Twinks. Time for my morning ablutions. Ab-lu-tions.”

  “Knock it off. I don’t want our kids turning into vocab freaks. One per family is the limit.” Sarah offered a sweet smile that managed to convey a fraction of love with 99.87 percent sarcasm.

  “Hate speak isn’t tolerated by management.”

  “I’m the boss of all things under this roof.” She raised her brow, knowing she had me there.

  “Here’s another word, Twinkies: dictator. It means a ruler with total power.”

  Freddie raised his purple stuffed monkey in the air.

  “Your point, Lizzie?” Sarah crossed her arms.

  “No point. Just defining your title so everyone’s on the same page.” I blew a kiss in Sarah’s direction.

  “Okay, Mom, I think we got everything.” Sarah, in a turquoise floral sleeveless dress, seemed to run through a mental list of things the kids needed.

  I laughed, standing in Rose’s doorway, both of my arms overloaded with the twins’ bags and stuffed animals.

  Both of them ignored me, the twinkies’ Sherpa.

  “You two have fun tonight.” Rose kissed Sarah’s cheek. “We’ll be fine.”

  Next to her stood Troy.

  Sarah waved goodbye, taking a moment longer than usual, her eyes not on the twins but on Troy, who reminded me of a heavier version of Clark Gable.

  In the passenger seat of the car, Sarah flipped the visor down to inspect her makeup. “It’s weird.”

  “What?”

  “Mom and Troy. I thought after my dad she turned asexual or something.”

  I laughed. “Maybe she was waiting for you to be able to handle her dating.”

  “I’m married, with children, every day inching closer to middle age.” She pointed to the crow’s feet next to her left eye.

  “Exactly!” I punctuated with an exuberant head nod. “Too busy and old to cause a stink.” I backed out of Rose’s two-car driveway.

  Sarah flipped the visor back into place with a jolt. “It’s just weird!”

  Squeezing her thigh, I said, “I know, sweetheart. I didn’t mean to sound insensitive. And for the record, I don’t think you’ve officially hit middle age. Not for another handful of years.”

  She twisted in her seat, placing the side of her face against the headrest. “I know it’s perfectly natural for Mom to date, but…” She shrugged.

  “Weird,” I supplied, putting the SUV into drive.

  “Come on, Miss Vocab. Amaze me with your verbal skills.”

  “I’d rather use my tongue in other ways.” I arched my brows but didn’t take my eyes off
the road as I turned onto a busy street.

  “Can we cancel, you think?” Sarah perked up.

  “Up to you. You’re the one who planned this double-date with Maddie and Gabe.”

  “Yeah, yeah. You’d be perfectly fine staying home, reading the latest book on the Third Reich every single night.”

  “If I remember correctly, I had hinted about something else.”

  She ran a hand up my arm. “Go on.”

  I stopped at the red light on College Avenue and faced her full-on. “I want to eat your pussy until you beg me to stop. And you know what, I may not stop. Not until you pass out.” Slapping my leg, I added, “I almost forgot. There’s a gift for you in the back seat. I didn’t have time to wrap it.”

  She reached behind her, grabbing the Barnes & Noble bag. “You got me the Fifty Shades series.” She fished around in the bag and pulled out another book. “And Twilight?”

  “It was in the Amazon’s also boughts. It’s usually spot-on when I’m buying history books.” I shrugged. The light turned green, but the next one turned red, so we didn’t get very far.

  “Let me see if I understand. You went to the bookstore after looking up Fifty Shades on Amazon?”

  “Absolutely. I adore you, but I wasn’t going to ask someone in the store for recommendations of how to get my wife hot to trot. And after our conversation last night, I wasn’t sure you could wait for a delivery.”

  She patted my leg. “Or you couldn’t.”

  “Same thing.”

  “Maybe we should cancel. We can read passages aloud to each other.”

  Sarah’s phone rang.

  We locked eyes.

  A car behind us honked, but the light was still red.

  I glanced in the rearview mirror, laughing. “Hold that thought.” I jerked my thumb between the two seats to Gabe’s car behind us.

  Sarah answered the phone. “Yes, Maddie?”

  I heard Maddie’s muffled voice but couldn’t make out the words. Probably for the best.

  “Why would I intentionally ignore you?” Sarah grinned at me.